Leah and Cecelia, two
teenage girls, sit buried in two chairs next to each other. They spend the
entire time on their phones, not looking up. Brief pauses are taken between
each dialogue break in which the girls continue scrolling through their phones.
Leah: Did you see Beth got her hair cut?
Cecelia: No. Let me see this. -pause- oh no.
Leah: I know, tragic. And she was supposed to have her date with Oliver on Friday.
Cecelia: We’ll see how that happens. If that happens.
Leah: Oh this is a cool picture.
Cecelia: What is it?
Leah: It says it’s from the Demilitarized Zone between North and South Korea.
Cecelia: Wow. It’s so empty. It is beautiful, though.
Cecelia: Why did Suze post a picture of a horse?
Leah: It’s the new horse her dad got her.
Cecelia: Her dad got her a horse?
Leah: Yeah, he felt bad that he hadn’t seen her in a year after he lost custody in the divorce.
Cecelia: If only my parents were divorced.
Leah: I think he might have had to go to rehab.
Cecelia: Still a fucking horse? Imagine what else she can get.
Leah: Did you hear about all the cutbacks to student loans? Now, like, practically no one can get financed.
Cecelia: LOL, there goes college.
Leah: Like we ever had an actual future to hope for.
Cecelia: Oh no, Denny has to go to court.
Leah: Not Denny, no! What did he do?
Cecelia: He was texting and driving. Again.
Leah: I saw his snap-story. He was actually snapping while driving last time.
Cecelia: Ah, Denny. Is there any hope for him to ever learn?
Cecelia: Did you see the news this morning?
Leah: Are you talking about the townhouse fire in the city? My mom told me about that over breakfast.
Cecelia: No, the mass shooting in Des Moines. 21 people were killed; they were saying about 40 others were wounded.
Leah: Another one?
Cecelia: Yeah, another one.
Leah: People need to chill the fuck down. Love each other. Stop shooting.
Cecelia: Tell me about it.
Leah: I took that “choose your dream shopping spree and we’ll tell you how old you really are” quiz.
Cecelia: And? What did you get?
Leah: Well, according to this, I’m a senior citizen.
Cecelia: Seriously?
Leah: “You are an old soul at heart. Your care for others is deep and grandmotherly to its very core. Your ideal day includes baking, watching birds, spoiling your grandkids, and watching some ‘Judge Judy.’ You might not admit it, but you have that stash of strawberry hard candies tucked away in the bottom of your bag. Everyone looks to you as a source of wisdom and cookies.”
Cecelia: I can’t. No. I just can’t.
Leah: Hey. Respect your elders.
Cecelia: Carter just posted a picture. His dad is in the hospital.
Leah: What happened?
Cecelia: Apparently he swallowed a bunch of pills and overdosed. They aren’t sure if he was trying to kill himself or what.
Leah: Wow. I wish there was something we could do.
Cecelia: I know. But what can we do?
Leah: I don’t know. Everything I can say at this point has already been said. And besides it’s all stupid, meaningless clichés.
Cecelia: Oh well. I sent him a text. I used a bunch of those little praying hands emojis.
Leah: Yeah, that’ll definitely help.
Leah: Did you see Karie got a new little dog?
Cecelia: A puppy? Let me see this cutie.
